By Equestrian Life

You know you’ve spent too long around horses (if there is such a thing) when…

1. It’s a very windy day and rather than worrying about your hair you’re counting the number of flapping/swaying/loose items that would result in your horse loosing his mind.

2. Your leather (non horsey) shoes last a thousand times longer that your friends’ shoes because you coat them in Dubbin alongside your riding boots, gaiters and an endless array of horse-related leather items.

3. You won’t touch any wire fence that looks remotely like it could be housing an electric current.

4. You don’t understand why cyclists are terrified of swooping magpies - bikes can’t buck you off!

5. You keep your ‘leg on’ while driving past scary road signs/bollards/pedestrians etc. And then lean forward when you drive over speed bumps or up steep hills.

6. Distances are judged by counting the number of strides.

7. You take your car to the mechanic/tyre dealer and explain that the offside hind needs attention.

8. You tell your partner/friend/dog/co-worker to ‘walk on’ and ‘woah’ when you’re ready to head off or stop.

9. Fallen trees, fences, park benches and chairs are viewed as cross country obstacles - and you subconsciously grade them. Yep, that park benche would definitely be a 4* obstacle.

10. You go the dentist to ‘get your teeth done’.

11. You hip bump your kids/parents/housemate/friends/partner when you need them to move over. And of course you release the pressure once they yield.

12. Your nail polish is generally black. It also covers half your hand and is a result of spilling hoof polish.

13. Your wallet holds a photo of your horse.

14. Your legs struggles to maintain a tan.

15. You would consider using a fake tail as hair extensions - but sadly you’re the owner of a grey horse.
 

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