Riding Mind®

Copyright Lisa Stevens 2006

Equestrian Psychology

Lisa Stevens B.A. (Soc Sci), B.Sc. (Honours), MA. App. Psych. (Sport)

Sexual boundaries in sport

As the time of writing this article, there are families reeling from the revelation that either a member of their family has been sexually harassed/assaulted or from the discovery a member of their family has been charged with improper or criminal conduct. There are no winners in these situations even when the perpetrator receives a custodial sentence. Shock waves go through the sporting community and students, colleagues’ friends and family grapple with the conflicting feelings of disgust, love, hate, loyalty, friendship, and shame. No one is left unaffected and the sport as a whole suffers from the fall out of such incidents.

As a critical incident consultant, I have been called to work with students, colleagues, and families struggling to cope with incidents of sexual abuse and it is incredibly sad and stressful for parties on both sides. As we are not the judge or jury it behoves us to show compassion to these families rather than see it as a time for drama, condemnation and gossip. Out of respect for the families involved in some of the more recent cases reported in the media I have refrained from referring to any of these cases specifically.

Sexual exploitation of clients extends beyond coaches to other professionals with fiduciary roles such as teachers, clergy, and doctors. It is not unusual for patients, students, parishioners and athletes to have strong feelings for the professional. Think about it, the professional shows the client positive regard, gives undivided attention, asks for nothing (except payment) in return, is the holder of knowledge, is a helper, and in the case of a coach has hero status because they are an expert in the field the student is passionate about. On the other hand, students tend to be vulnerable, still learning, lacking in knowledge, and like all good students seek the coach’s approval. Let’s face it, expertise is sexy, power is sexy, getting attention is sexy!

Our training and regulatory bodies have not been quick to include training in ethics and boundary management and it is only recently that the Sports Commission developed the Member Protection Policy for sporting organisations. This was as a consequence of research showing that up to 1 in 4 female athletes had been sexually harassed or assaulted by coaches or officials during their sporting career. In addition, child sexual abuse by coaches and officials in organised sport has started to be reported. The under-reporting of incidents has been the norm for all cases of sexual harassment and assault. Female athletes have been loath to say anything for fear of negative repercussions within their sport. I have had a number of athletes seek psychological assistance but all have refused to report coaches for gross violations because they believe that it will lead to ostracism and negative responses from the sporting organisation they belong to, indeed they believed that everyone would side with the coaches and blame them for being troublemakers or ‘sluts’.

Tragically, this fear is not unfounded, as athletes who have reported unacceptable coach behaviour have frequently been maligned, gossiped about, not believed, accused of lying and accused of ‘asking for it’. In addition, many victims blame themselves for not being stronger, for allowing it to happen, etc. even when at the time of the incidents they were only 15 or 16 years old. Victims also feel ambivalent because they are in love with and admire their coach and would prefer to blame themselves than believe their hero could be a predator. In the cases I have dealt with, age differences have been between 10 and 20 years and the males involved have all been married with children. For the victims, the guilt associated with doing anything that would disrupt the coach’s family also plays a part in their reluctance to report the behaviour. What a pity the coach does not put as high a premium on his wife and children’s wellbeing! The shame associated with an athlete having sexual relations with an older married coach extends to the fear of how the athlete’s family and friends will view them and their families’ and friends’ reaction to the coach. This shame exists even when the athlete is a minor and therefore the coach’s behaviour constitutes pedophilia.

Fortunately, most coaches are aware that it is not ethical or professional to see their clients as part of their dating pool, most coaches are aware that young people deserve to learn in an environment where they are not subject to sexual advances from their teachers. Most coaches take their duty of care for young people seriously and even if they are flattered by the attentions of their young charges they do not take advantage of the young people in their care by pouncing on them.

Finally, sporting bodies are starting to recognise the prevalence and damage of such incidents and the Australian Sports Commission has published the regulatory bodies ruling on sexual boundaries for NCAS coaches in Australia, I have provided an excerpt of that ruling below (for full transcript go to http://www.ausport.gov.au/ethics/coachrel.asp).

Boundary violations can have disastrous outcomes for the client, athlete, student, patient, or parishioner. When a trusted professional becomes romantically (or sexually) involved with the person in their care the consequences can be catastrophic and the symptoms exhibited after coach–client sexual involvement may form a distinct clinical syndrome. Aspects commonly associated with the syndrome are: ambivalence, guilt, sense of emptiness and isolation, sexual confusion, impaired ability to trust, identity boundary and role confusion, emotional liability, suppressed rage, increased suicide risk, and cognitive dysfunction, and can last a lifetime, precluding that young person from forming healthy intimate relationships in the future.

It is likely that coaches who violate the boundaries with their clients fall into 4 categories: (a) psychotic disorders, (b) predatory psychopathy and paraphilias, (c) lovesickness, and (d) masochistic surrender. The more severe cases of sexual exploitation of clients usually involves a predatory and exploitative male coach with severe narcissistic pathology who may simply see any attractive female client as a potential sexual partner and proceed accordingly, totally disregarding the wellbeing of that client and the ethical or legal aspects of the situation.

The majority of professionals who are caught violating sexual boundaries appear to rationalise their behaviour and use in their defence: denial, claims of client consent,

AUSTRALIAN SPORTS COMMISSION – ETHICS IN SPORT

COACHES AND OFFICIALS INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

Although not every intimate (sexual) relationship between a coach and an athlete is based on an abuse of power by the coach, such relationships are a danger area. This is because there is usually a great disparity between a coach and athlete in terms of authority, maturity, status and dependence, even if the athlete has reached the legal age of consent. Intimate and consensual relationships between coaches and adult athletes, while not against the law, can have harmful effects on the individual athlete involved, on other athletes and coaches, and on the sport’s public image. Because there is always a risk that the relative power of the coach has been a factor in the development of such relationships, it is recommended that a coach avoid sexual relationships with athletes, regardless of the athlete’s age. Other professionals who have responsibility for the physical and mental wellbeing of their clients, such as doctors and counsellors, have adopted and work to similar ethical requirements. A coach should not only refrain from initiating a relationship with an athlete, but should also discourage any attempt by an athlete to initiate a sexual relationship with them, explaining the ethical basis for the refusal.

Sexual Boundary

• Coaches should not have sexual relationships with athletes they are coaching.

• Appropriate physical contact with an athlete to learn a new skill is acceptable but touching which may make the athlete uncomfortable is not.

It is essential for coaches to be aware of their power and maintain boundaries that enable safe and healthy coach/athlete relationships.